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By - ZsClarc

Take Notes: This Fake Roy Moore Accuser Scandal Is A Master Class In Stupidity

Yet another woman came forward this week with additional assertions against Alabama Senate nominee, and creepy child predator, Roy Moore, accusing them of sexual assault, which like, ok sure what else is new? At this level, news of Moore assaulting another underage girl is as groundbreaking as news that the sky is blue, or Ryan Gosling is hot, or Kylie Jenner is pregnant. We already know. However, this story took a turning when it was revealed that Moore’s latest accuser was full of shit and the worst undercover “expose journalist” ever. Let’s analyse:

A woman named Jaime Phillips( red flag# 1: anyone who spells Jaime that lane is def a narc) approached the with a story claiming that Moore raped her during an inappropriate relationship when she was 15 years old, resulting in her pregnancy. Allegedly, Moore persuaded her to keep quiet and drove her to get an abortion out of state. So far, so believable, which of course signifies this is the point where Jaime Lannister Phillips manages to royally fuck it all up.

Jaime contacted two reporters who initially broke the first allegations against Moore earlier this month, off the record, with these damaging accusations. With both reporters, she repeatedly asked if her narrative would be enough to ensure Moore lost the Senate race. When the first reporter replied that it’s hard to definitively say and that she would also need to run a standard fact check of Phillips’ claims, Jaime up and left and contacted the second reporter instead. Operating away and starting over when person just wants to make sure the things coming out of your mouth are true is the most suspicious fucking thing I’ve ever heard. But don’t fret, you’re doing amazing, sweetie. Keep up the b- what could go wrong?

The first reporter acted like any person with a brain would, and figured Phillips seemed shady af, so she did a little digging. Cherry-red flag# 2( still counting her name) was her cell number, which had an Alabama area code, even though Jaime said she had only temporarily lived in Alabama for that short summertime when Moore knocked her up. Cherry-red flag# 3 was a GoFundMe page set up under the epithet Jaime Phillips, striving donations for her relocation to New York as she sought a new job working to “combat the lies and deceit of the liberal mainstream media.” Any amateur social media stalker knows that all you need is your Bumble date’s first name and eye coloring, and before you know it, you’ve acquired his post-tax income, dog’s weight, 2nd grade teacher’s dress size, and family history of balding before age 30. Did Phillips never even change her Facebook name to something punny so college admissions officers wouldn’t find her ruby-red solo cup pics? I have so much to teach her. Also , no one told me you could just set up a GoFundMe for literally anything ?? Please visit my page and donate to my money to assistance my efforts to combat the lies and deceit of my exes. Thank you for your generosity.

The cherry-red on top of the terrible liar sundae was when reporters literally realized Phillips walking into the offices of a controversial group called Project Veritas, known for their attempted undercover sting procedures that target liberal groups and media outlets. The was not about to let themselves get played, and disclosed all information gathered through the interviews with Phillips, and the presumed intention of a sting to embarrass the paper by getting them to report a story without doing sufficient research. Project Veritas and Phillips were going on previous accusations that was offering money to accusers to share their narratives and push the “liberal agenda” to take Moore down based on political bias alone- not because he’s a entirely unqualified child molester, which is also, ya know, a valid reason for him not to be elected but that’s none of my business.

It was also discovered that Project Veritas, run by self-important fuckboy James O’Keefe, received a healthy donation of $10,000 back in 2015 to help fund videos and investigations targeting Hillary Clinton’s campaign and painting her supporters and Trump protesters as violent and demoralize. Now who could have so liberally reached with his tiny hands into his ill-fitting gasps pockets to dish out that various kinds of donation to an organization specifically intended to malign liberal organizations? Oh right, of course.

It comes as no surprise to anyone that an organization supported immediately by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would be the same one trying( and failing) to trick a liberal news source into reporting false information, after persuading the provider of said information to LIE about being RAPED in order to discredit other VICTIMS and clear the road leading to agency for a CHILD MOLESTER. Does anything matter anymore? Can we trust anyone to be honest and not a miserable, corrupt, shitbag? I require a guzzle. And to become of the news for the next 3 years. If you need me, I’ll be passed out somewhere with an empty wine bottle in one hand and their own families portrait of Michelle and Barack with my psyche pasted in between them in the other.

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