Gin Ros Is The New Drink For People Who Are Both Basic And Psycho

Everyone knows a true betchs summertime go-to beverage is a nice tall glass( or bottle, whatever) of ros. Its cold, its fairly, it has alcohol in it, its delicious. Did I mention it has alcohol? But sometimes wine drunk doesnt cut it. Like, maybe I wanna get my liquor on but not fall asleep after an hour only to wake up to the worlds worst headache. Fucking sue me. Or maybe I merely had a very stressful period of doing the bare minimum and need to black out for a while and recalibrate my feelings. I intend , not that you can’t black out on ros. I’ve done countless experiments here and I assure you, it can be done, but it just takes a little more hour and a lot more calories than a few well-timed hits of clear liquor would. Well now, thanks to Wolffers vineyard in the Hamptons, you can get liquor drunk with ros vibes. How you might ask? Gin made from ros. Did you hear that thud? It was me plummeting the mic.

If youre wondering how this is possible, youve come to the wrong place because Im not a gin distiller sry, but apparently gin only has to be a clear alcoholic drink made of neutral feelings and juniper berries, so the term gin is a loose one. I even Merriam-Websterd that shit.

Now that’s what I call research. Am I a legit writer? Merely period will tell. My Googling research also taught me that, in order to turn wine into gin, Wolffer employs copper stills to create pure alcohol from ros, then adds juniper berries and other shit to make it gin-y. A touch of cherry-red grape skin extract enhances the pink coloring to actually take it to a faker the next level.

If you know anything about anything, you know that ros is for basics and gin is for hipsters, fucking duh. You might also remember that there is scientific proof that proves only psychopaths drink gin. So now you dont have to fit in a bubble. Dont let culture tell you you have to choose. You can be both basic a psycho. That’s what makes this country absolutely amazing.( Though perhaps try not being a hipster. Society as a whole is like, done with that .) You wanna wear Uggs on your feet and a beanie on your brain while contemplating slaughter? Fucking do it. Just make sure you have a glass of ros gin in your hand. And jk about the assassination part.